Remembering those we've lost on the most important days of our lives.
Weddings are a time of pure bliss and joy, but it can also be a challenging time if there are loved ones who have passed away and won’t be present for your special day. Dealing with this pain is a reality for many people, and the absence of a loved one can leave a large hole while planning your wedding.
Fortunately, there are many ways you can honor a deceased friend or family member on your wedding day. Whether your wedding has hundreds of people or you’re hosting a more intimate gathering, here are some ways to pay homage to your loved one.
Carry an item with you
It’s tradition to wear something old, new, borrowed, and blue on your wedding day. Consider wearing a memento on your clothing or attaching a special item to your bouquet or boutonniere. It could be anything from cuff links to jewelry to a piece of fabric (great for a groom’s pocket square!). It doesn’t have to be the main focal point of your outfit, but it’s something small that can remind you that your loved ones are with you as you say “I do”.
Include a note in the program
One way to honor your loved ones at your wedding is to include them in the program. Incorporate a section that is a tribute to them and include any details you wish, like their lifetime achievements or a special time you shared with them.
A poem of remembrance
If you’re a writer or enjoy public speaking, select or create a poem that reflects the memory of your loved one. If you choose to write your own poem, consider these tips:
- Take your time: Death and grief are not easy to think about, let alone write about. Take your time throughout the process, and only write in short bursts.
- Withhold nothing (then revise later): Take the time to brainstorm and write down every little detail you can think of. When you review it, run with one or two ideas that stand out.
- Find the purpose of your poem: What do you want to portray in your poem? Are you reflecting on a past moment or anecdote? What’s the purpose of your poem? Once you clarify that, you can write a clear, impactful piece of poetry.
This could be an emotional moment, so if you’re uncomfortable reciting it yourself, have your officiant, or a loved one read it. You could even print it in the program for your guests to read on their own.
Highlight a family recipe
Do you have fond memories around the dinner table? Did your loved one have a dish they’d always make? Incorporate it into your wedding menu! Chef Kieron has used beloved family recipes to make a groom’s nana’s mandelbread and other evocative recipes provided by Cornman Farms couples.
Toast to your loved ones
Raise your glasses in honor and gratitude to your loved ones. Toast to them alongside your guests for a special moment and capture it with your videographer or photographer. It’s a simple gesture that can have a big impact on your wedding day.
Did your loved one have a favorite drink? Consider offering that as a signature cocktail or featured non-alcoholic offering, and the toasts to them can continue throughout the evening.
Hold a moment of silence
During the ceremony or after the speeches at your reception, have a moment of silence for your loved ones. Simply take a few moments to reflect on the life and memory of those who have passed on to honor their memory.
Light a memory candle
There are many different traditions and ceremonies you can partake in at your wedding. A common one is to light a candle to unify the couple, but you can also light a candle to remember your loved ones. Before or during your ceremony, take a moment with your partner to light a candle in honor of your relatives and friends who can’t celebrate with you in person.
Create a memory table or display
There are so many ways you can decorate your wedding venue. You can personalize almost every part of your wedding, from the flowers to the seating chart. To honor your deceased relatives, consider creating a memory table or display that showcases what you loved the most about them and what they were passionate about. A memory table can include a variety of pictures, collectibles, trinkets, and flowers to display the incredible life your loved ones had. One Cornman Farms couple set decks of cards out during cocktail hour to honor the bride’s game-loving dad!
Reserve a seat
Your loved one would be there front and center to support you on your wedding day, so why not save them a seat? You can do this however you like by keeping an empty chair at the ceremony or reception or dedicating a seat to them adorned with flowers or pictures in remembrance of them.
Play a special song
Maybe poetry or a memory table isn’t your style. In lieu of that, consider playing a special song to kick off your reception. Invite your loved ones and friends to join you in a unique moment of remembrance. Whether it’s their favorite song or simply a song that reminds you of them, sometimes music heals the soul.
A day of remembrance and joy at Cornman Farms
Dealing with grief while planning your wedding can be difficult, but our Zingerman’s Cornman Farms team and inclusive wedding packages makes the process as stress-free as possible. We’ll work with you to create your dream wedding and incorporate the lasting legacy your loved ones have left behind. Learn more about our wedding packages and tour our beautiful Michigan wedding venue today.